Thursday, February 23, 2012

I wasn't expecting 6 inches

I can hear my brother all the way from Texas saying, "That's what she said."  I thought about baiting him and putting that as my Facebook status...but it seemed too easy.   Well, what I am actually talking about is the 6 inches of snow we woke up to this morning.  It was nowhere in the weather report the night before.  "A light dusting" and "no accumulation" were the words I remembered.  But I am looking outside to yet another winter "wonderland."  This storm pushes us into first place for snowiest February on record. 
Public Enemy number one in my opinion.

The other thing that accompanied this storm was intense winds.  We had wind gust 80-100 mph last night.  It literally felt like an earthquake when you went upstairs.  And I have lived through quite a few earthquakes so I should know.  We get strong winds often due to our drastic temperature swings, but this might be the strongest wind I can remember.  My friend's husband is the manager of a Target and she said the doors blew off!  Crazy!

Anyway, our doors didn't blow off but this was the scene in our backyard this morning.

As you can see we have a tree down and a fence to repair....and more snow to scoop!  Our neighbors also lost one of their pine trees (at the top of the picture).

In other mundane news, my kids are still sick.  They both have colds but my son also has pink eye.  As far as a serious illness, I would give it like a 2 or 3 on a scale of ten.  But as far as being a hassle, I would give it a 10 plus!  Have you ever tried to put eye drops in a kid before?  If so, God bless you.  If not, I will try to explain how it goes down.

First of all, the nurse will tell you on the phone that it is a piece of cake.  This is a lie.  The only way it would be a piece of cake is if they also gave you one of these:

 Or even better some of this:
They instruct you to have your child calmly lay down and close their eyes.  Simply squeeze some drops in the corner of your child's eyes and when they blink they will slide right in.  Easy Peasy! 

Your kid is not going to be fooled with this propaganda.  They know why they are laying down.  They know you are going to stick something in their eyes.  They will have a flight or fight reaction because, let's face it, natural selection has left our gene pool full of individuals who will go to great lengths to protect their eyes.  The fools that stuck stuff in their eyes went blind and got eaten by saber tooth tigers.

This primal fear will lead you to chase your child through the house all while shouting alternating bribes and threats.  "I will give you some ice cream!  I 'm going to burn your video games!  How about a cookie!  You are going to get a time out!"  This only increases the fear in your child and is highly unproductive. 

You finally resort to guerrilla warfare.  When your child thinks you have finally given up, when it seems safe to emerge from hiding, you let them and then you hide.  When they least expect it you jump out and tackle them to the ground.  This seems cruel, but so does letting your child's eye fall out due to extreme infection.  You then use a move that you probably learned while watching The Macho Man Randy Savage on WWF.  With your child pinned to the ground, and obviously screaming, you aim the drops at the wildly moving object.  Did some get in?  You don't know and at this point you don't care.

Repeat 4 times daily for 5-7 days.  You are convinced they have you do it 4 times a day in the hopes that at least one of those times drops actually get in.  You are also convinced that all the people who tell you that "these years just fly by" never had a child with pink eye.
To my fellow Coloradoans, I hope you didn't wake up in Oz and that there wasn't too much damage to your houses.  To everyone else, how's your weather?  Hope it is better than ours!! 

Who has some good sick kid stories??