Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The post where I share way too much...

When you are chubby, have bad skin, excel at science, and have a tragic sense of fashion, Valentine's Day is not ever your favorite day of the year.  It is, in fact, your least favorite day of the year.  It is the day that SCREAMS nobody loves you, you are alone, and maybe that isn't going to change.  It is the day that makes it blatantly obvious that you single and you don't want to be.  You want to get the roses, and the cards, and dinner, and especially the chocolate.  You want to feel special and you can almost forget it every other day of the year, but this day will not let you forget it.  You hate this day and you kinda feel like Hallmark invented it just to torture you.  You dress in all black as an informal protest, kind of a metaphorical middle finger to all the happy couples out there.  You end the horrible day watching When Harry Met Sally with your dates for the evening: Ben, Jerry, and Jose.  Yup, Valentine's Day SUCKS!

When I finally did have a special someone on Valentine's Day, you can only imagine how important it was to me.  All those years of torture were finally over!  I was engaged and the rest of my Valentine's Days would be fabulous!  Happily ever after indeed!!

 And that first year it was fabulous.  We were engaged after all and I could still back out of the deal, right?  The next year was our first year of marriage and that is when Kevin dropped the "I think Valentine's Day is over commercialized and I'm not into it."  Ummmm, what now???  I waited a long time to have this day not suck and now my husband was telling me he didn't want to do the cards, flowers, dinners, etc.  I wanted the etc.  I wanted him to express his love in big romantic gestures.  All the Valentine's Days I had stayed home watching Rom Coms had taught me that big sweeping romantic gestures were everything I always wanted.  But that is not who I married.  He is not a big sweeping romantic gesture kind of guy. 

As you can imagine this has been a struggle.  Whenever two people in a relationship show love in a different ways there is going to be a bit of conflict.  Kevin thinks he is being practical, which he is, but it leaves me feeling unloved.  Although I know my husband loves me and would be very offended that I feel unloved, when he doesn't do something on special days it really hurts me.  I am that chubby girl with the bad skin all over again and it sucks. 

Valentine's Day was coming up and I of course prepared myself to be underwhelmed with the bare minimum.  We have settled into a give each other a card and go out to dinner routine so that is what I expect.  I brought up going out to dinner and my dear husband responded with, "Going out on Valentine's is so cliche?"  My response back to him was, "So is having sex on Valentine's Day."  I felt I had made it clear in my own smart ass way that he better be doing something to celebrate how much he freaking loves me.  I am a delight after all!

So yesterday came and no mention of dinner plans.  So I thought I would make a special dinner at home.  At least I would still get a card, right?

It was a beast of a day.  The kids were crazy, I had a horrible headache.  I managed to pull it together and make our dinner and put the kids to bed.  I then hand my husband his card.  He responds with, "Oh I forgot to get you a card."  And we have hit a new low for Valentine's Day.  I pretended I didn't care.  I have a wonderful husband who does a lot of things right.  He is faithful, and kind, and respectful to me.  He works soooo hard for our family.  We have fun together and we are a great team in so many ways.  But guess what??  None of that matters if you forget to do something, anything on Valentine's Day!!!!!! 

So this is my special plea to all men (specifically my husband).  Do something super nice for your lady on Valentine's Day.  It is a big deal to us!!  We have been brainwashed by Hallmark and Hollywood to want these things.  We totally care if we don't get them!!!  Men, guess what?  It is more important than ever to do something for your gal because we have Facebook!!  All day long your girl's friends will be posting the romantic things that their fella did for them.  They will be bombarded by photos and stories and check-ins at romantic hotspots.  If your wife sees all this right after she made dinner, put the kids to sleep, and did the dishes, she is going to be pisssed, but mostly just hurt.  Valentine's Day is an over-commercialized made-up holiday.  We know that!  But it doesn't matter, we still want to feel like we are the most important, special person in your life.  We still want to be swept off our feet every once in awhile.  We want this:


How do you feel about Valentine's Day??

Any other husbands/boyfriends in the dog house because my husband can use the company??   

Favorite Rom Com?  Mine is obviously When Harry Met Sally.