Friday, December 23, 2011

I'm stuck in Wi-Fi hell

This is just a quick note to say I have been dealing with very limited internet connectivity at my brother's house. Apparently his poor router can't handle all the devices trying to hook into it. Sooooo, I haven't been able to read very many blogs and I do apologize if I have been ignoring you!! I am actually typing this from my sister's iPad which seems to be a little faster than my computer. But typing on one of these things is actually the most annoying thing in the world!!! I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas!! I have already gotten the best Christmas present of all....being with my family....and missing the foot and a half of snow we got at our house yesterday!!! There is still time to send in your photos!! I have only gotten a few so the odds of winning are pretty high! Come on send them in because public humiliation builds character!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Things- The December Edition

Thing that I started doing again!!!!
Thing I didn't wear when I ran because I really didn't feel like crying:

Thing I probably looked like while running:

Thing that I want to wear during my "comeback."
This would be a great Christmas present!

Thing that is encouraging me:

Thing I still can't wear. 
This is really putting a damper on my life because, like all stay at home moms, I like to vacuum in heels and pearls. 
Thing that I like to listen to every Christmas:
It is my favorite Christmas song.  I know I should be embarrassed.... but I'm just not.
Thing that I am doing on Tuesday:
I will be driving to Austin, Texas to spend Christmas with my family.  At least at this time of year my face won't melt off when I step outside!!!
Thing I hope is taken care of or else I might be spending Christmas in jail:
I really did (or do???) have a warrant for my arrest in Texas.  You can read about the scandal here

Thing my hair will look like in Texas because of the humidity:
I don't know what is more sad: that my hair is going to look like his or that he looks WAY better in shorty shorts than I do.

Thing I can't wait to say when I am in Texas.  I love saying it and people just look at me funny when I say it here:

Thing that my husband hit my broken big toe with last night:
Thing I almost punched him in when he opened the door right into my broken big toe:
Thing that I still haven't bought any of:
Thing I am because I haven't even started shopping:

Thing I want for Christmas:
Okay, thing I actually want for Christmas:

I am going to do a Olympic distance tri this year and I need to start swimming earlier....and I am a weenie so I need a good wetsuit.  Any recommendations????

Thing I just baked:

Thing that I will be baking next:
From the Brown Eyed Baker. Looks so good!

Thing I am desperately behind in reading:
I haven't been able to read any blogs this week!!!  I am so behind and I am going to try to catch up because I love reading about y'all.  Y'all are so much more interesting than me!  I told you I loved saying y'all.

Thing I haven't gotten any of:  Your awkward photos!!  I am going to push the contest back the 27th so people have more time to find photos!!  Don't forget to send them to me at  

What is on your Christmas list?

Favorite Christmas song?

Anyone else have a hard time keeping up with blog reading?


Saturday, December 10, 2011

I'll show you mine if you show me yours (OR The Awkward Photo Contest)

I have a confession to make: I am addicted to Awkward Family Photos.  They crack me up...maybe more than they should.  Whenever I see them come up on AOL's homepage I have to click on them.  I have to.  It is a compulsion and I'd seek help for it, but as far as vices go, this is a pretty harmless one.  There are so many funny choices, but the these three make a strong case for the most spectacular:
I obviously lack maturity.  When my mom reads this I am sure she will pat herself on the back for raising such a classy lady.
It makes me laugh and creeps me out at the same time!
That kid's face is PRICELESS!

So when I read the comments from my mall bangs post I could not stop laughing just thinking about some of the looks you guys admitted to sporting.  Stirrup pants, poodle butt bangs, the MacGyver mullet,  Miss Zippy as Madonna.  Oh man, I had to see these photos!  And thus, the Awkward Photo contest was born!!!

Entering is easy (as long as you don't mind humiliation).  Just email me ( your "best" look, a description of what is going on in the picture, and your blog address (so I can link it). On December 19th I will post all the pictures and let the public decide the winner...or would it be loser!  Finally will not decide your fate!  Your bad fashion decisions of yesteryear will do that for you!

Why enter??  
  • To gain fame with all 60 of my followers (I know you can't turn that down!)
  • Because it is a lot of fun!! 
  • And if that is not enough, prizes are REI giftcards.  First place is $10!  Second and third place are $10, too (Yeah, I get that they are all the same amount).  Sorry, that's all I could get because, let's face it, I'm like a D list blogger.  No REI close by??  First off, my condolences.  Second, they have great online selections!
How to earn yourself some extra votes (I can be bribed!!).  You get an extra vote for each of the following: you follow my blog, you advertise in some way (twitter, Facebook, your blog, church bulletin...I don't care.)  Just let me know in a comment if you did any of those things.

So search your albums or shoe boxes, call up mom, and send me those pictures!!  I am not entering so I will leave you with a few of my stellar looks through out the years:

Look, little Katie with a jheri curl!  I was obsessed with Annie so my mom gave me an "Annie" perm. 

Ah, the spiral perm.   And look Rachel, I had my bangs permed too.  I guess I had forgotten (or blocked that from my memory)!

I think that this one might be the worst.  This was obviously before I leaned that running was good for me and bangs were bad for me.  My parents still have this up in their house and when we visit my husband mocks it relentlessly. (Like he has room to talk.  He wore a purple and turquoise suit for his senior picture....true story.)  He calls us the Double Mint Family.  The worst thing?  Right after this was taken my parents made us go out to public.  Everyone was staring at the weirdo family wearing exactly the same outfit.  It was humiliating!

I showed you mine, now you show me yours!  Contest end December 18th and I will post them on December 19th.  Go ahead and enter because you need to laugh at yourself....and more importantly, we need to laugh at you too!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

A picture is worth a thousand words

Who can guess my two piece of news??
Hint:  It is not that I was inspired by my mall bangs to get a spiral perm.  My hair just looks like that when I don't blow dry it.  Also, it isn't that I have developed a lazy eye or that I'm thinking of getting Restylane injections.  This is just a hideous picture.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Sometimes ugly can be fun

What do you get when you mix ugly Christmas sweaters, white elephant gifts, and a bunch of moms who got out of bedtime duty??  A really fun night!

Last night was the annual Christmas party for my MOPS leadership team.  The instructions: Wear an ugly Christmas sweater.  Love it!  Why?  Well, dressing up stresses me out.  Probably because I am a lot of this:
and not so much this:
When you are deficient in the glamor department, sometimes dressing up isn't so fun.  But tell me to ham it up and I am all over that.  Here is my ensemble:
Thank you Walmart!  I knew you wouldn't let me down.  Oh and sorry if I offended anyone who bought this vest in a non-ironic way.
As you can see I decided that some mall bangs would go really great with the ugly vest, because really don't they go better with everything!   You don't know what mall bangs are?  Here is a definition from Urban Dictionary:  The putrid late 80's-early 90's hair "style" in which a female utilizes most of the can of Aqua Net to jack her bangs up to a height that rivals the girl's body height.

Achieving this look actually turned out to be harder than I originally thought.  I am in my 30's, so I am no stranger to the ingredients for a good fly catcher.  I mean that was my one elementary school goal- to feather and tease my bangs to their maximum possible height....oh and also to marry Jake Ryan (the awesome bangs would of course help me with that).  So I searched the recesses of my brain and remembered that I needed a curling iron, hair spray, and a brush for teasing of course, because you can not forget the teasing (I bet you had no idea that this turned into a style blog)!

I stood there in the bathroom with all my big hair tools desperately trying to make these mall bangs happen.  I picked up the curling iron and asked myself, "what would 10 year old Katie do."  Then I remembered that 10 year old Katie could never get her bangs to soar.  My sister, Kristy?  Now she had bangs of legendary height.  My friend, Shelby Farrell?  I would have traded my New Kids on the Block lunchbox for her locks.   But my bangs.... well my bangs always fell flat, which is exactly what was happening last night.  What was I doing wrong?  I mean this wasn't rocket science.  I was wanting this:
But I was getting a little more of this:
It was Ed Grimley with less volume.
Just when I was losing hope, I was my husband.  Yup, that's right.  Apparently I can add 80's hair stylist to his long list of obnoxious talents.  He reminded me that I needed to spray the bangs while they were in the curling iron.  Why does he know this?   I just.. really... don't want to know.  But it worked!  I used so much hairspray that driving my giant SUV to the party seemed environmentally friendly in comparison.

When all was said and done, my husband's advice worked.  I was no Shelby Farrell but it would have to do.  I topped off my look with, what else, frosted pink lips and blue eyeshadow.  And please, by all means, feel free to steal my beauty secrets.

It was a lot of fun but I have to say that I am so glad that big hair has not made a come back.  It was a lot of work!!

A few more pictures from the night:

 Okay, I swear at some point this will turn back into a blog about running, training, etc.  Right now my fitness routine is pretty boring.  (Example post:  I pedaled and read a magazine.  I sipped some water and then I kept pedaling.)  BUT, I wore a shoe today!  A real, honest to goodness shoe, so I can almost feel the treadmill belt moving under my feet.  I am hopeful that 4 weeks can be cut down to three or two week of no running.  Maybe it's the blue eyeshadow talking, but I am feeling pretty confident that I will be running again soon!    
Be honest, what infamous 80's look did you rock (if you are too young just keep that to yourself because I do NOT want to feel old)?

Are you a Mary Katherine or a Grace Kelly (aka do you like to dress up or goof around for Holiday Parties)?

Monday, December 5, 2011

10 reasons I don't want to leave the house today

BUT (that is for you Lisa, and thank you for that!) I have a remote start engine and a butt warmer in the car so I will be leaving.....oh yeah and it is a preschool day!  Happy Monday!!!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

How to piss off the natives

I have lived in Colorado for over 10 years.  You'd think I would have learned by now.  You'd think I'd have figured out what and what not to say to the natives.  Apparently not.

There are two things you don't badmouth around Coloradoans:  The Broncos and snow.  In that order....or maybe it is the other way around, I can't remember.  Uttering distaste for either does not make friends.  Fortunately, I like the Broncos.  Unfortunately, I loath, hate, despise, and detest snow.  I would have gone on but it would have involved me getting a thesaurus and I think you get the point.  

Yeah, people here love the stuff.  If you don't believe me just check out my Facebook feed after a snowstorm.  Every status update says stuff like, "Oh goody it's snowing." "How beautiful this snow is." "My life now has meaning because it is snowing." "I'm actually crying tears of joy over this awesome snow." "It is snowing and it is literally the most magical, wonderful thing that has ever happened to me."  Are you kidding me?  Barf!  Okay, maybe I made some of those up but people here really like when it snows.  You'd think it never happens, but we have on average 48 snow days a year and the only two months that show no average snow fall are July and August (that's a fact).

Knowing that people love snow and they get offended (like you just insulted their mother offended) I should just keep my mouth shut, right?  Well maybe I am slow to learn, or maybe I just couldn't resist.  I posted this picture on Facebook.  I took it from Steve in a Speedo.  It was actually about Minnesota's seasons but I thought it was spot on for Colorado:

It looked pretty accurate to this Southern California chick.  But of course the natives had things to say about it.  I am pretty shocked my house didn't get egged because some of those people know where I live.  So I am going to try to defend myself here and hopefully make amends to the Coloradoans I inadvertently offended. 

First of all, I am sorry I insulted Colorado.  Second, I don't actually mind all the love for snow....I don't get it....but I don't mind it.  And, I actually love reading the Facebook posts about snow.  But don't expect me to join in the jubilation when it starts snowing.  And please understand where I am coming from.

Here is a graph of average temperature in Camarillo, CA, where I was born and raised.

As you can see our four seasons are cool, warm, awesome, and awesomer.  My body just wasn't raised to live with the 60 degree temperature shift that happen over the course of a DAY here.  Now here is the graph for average temperature for Littleton, CO, where I currently reside.
As you can see the seasons here are: too hot, almost winter, winter, still winter, and spring blizzards.  Do you understand my problem now and why I might think that pie chart was accurate.

I hate snow and being cold.  I do and that is not going to change.  HOWEVER, I have grown to LOVE Colorado.  Shhhh, don't tell anyone I said it, but I do.  Despite that fact that it snows constantly (I know it doesn't but it feels like it!!!) this is the place that I now call home.  I love that there are over 300 days of sunshine a year.   I love raising my family here. I love looking out my front door and seeing the Rocky Mountains.  I love the friends that I have made.  I love how active Colorado is and how easy it is to find a great race to do!  I love that I am not constantly breathing a layer of smog or sitting in traffic for hours on end.  It really is a fantastic place to live. 

I miss a lot of things about Southern California.  The weather, the ocean, my hands not cracking and bleeding every winter, and some pretty cool people that still live there.  But Colorado is home for me and I couldn't be happier about it and I couldn't imagine leaving.  I am still going to complain about the snow though...every single time!

What are your feelings on snow??  Anyone else hate it, or am I alone here??

To my Colorado friends:  Do you forgive me or are you going to run me out of the state.  I'll go buy a Tebow jersey.  Does that help??

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The accidental replication of Harlow's work

My final semester of college I took Psych 101 to meet my Social Science requirement.  In all honesty, I only remember a few things from the class due to a wicked case of senioritis.  Even though I was totally phoning it in, I vividly remember this poor little Rhesus monkey and the experiment Harry Harlow conducted on him:
In a nutshell, Harlow designed an experiment where infant monkeys were taken away from their mothers and given blanket moms.  When the researchers took the blanket away the little Rhesus monkeys showed great signs of distress.  My textbook showed a picture of the crying, distraught monkey.  I openly wept for that monkey...right there in class.

Harlow actually did learn a lot about primate attachment from his experiment.  In my opinion it wasn't anything that a mother didn't already know and he could have saved some poor Rhesus monkeys a lot of heart ache by just asking one.  But I'm sure that's just the penis envy talking.  (Look at that, I did learn something from Psych 101.)

Now what did I learn from this experiment?  That blankies are a BIG deal.  DON'T mess with blankie.

Which brings me to the parental drama I faced yesterday.  We lost blankie.  We lost blankie!
My daughter's devotion to her blankie can only be compared to Linus...and of course that poor Rhesus monkey.  She plays with blankie, sleeps with blankie, eats with blankie, talks to blankie.  My husband and I have often shuttered in horror thinking of what we would do if something happened to blankie.  And then yesterday it finally happened.  Blankie was MIA.  There was a meltdown of Biblical proportions.  Weeping, gnashing of teeth, maybe even sackcloth and ashes.  It was bad.

We searched the house.  No luck.  We searched the car.  No luck. We searched the house and the car three or four more times.  No luck.  We went to MOPS that morning so I returned to the church to see if it was left there.  No luck.  I sent out a Facebook APB to see if anyone found it.  No luck.  No luck.  No luck.

By some miracle Emerson agreed to go to bed with a substitute blankie.  She wasn't happy about it but I told her that blankie had gone on an adventure and would be back soon.  She bought it but I don't know how long this story is going to work.  At some point she will expect the adventure to end.

We are on day two of no blankie and I am starting to lose hope.  If a monkey in a textbook broke my heart, you can only imagine what watching my daughter is doing to me.  It is hard to see your child lose the thing they love, the thing that gives them comfort, the thing that gives them security.

This whole incident just so happened to coincide with my toe check-up this morning.  Things are healing nicely (yay!) but healing slower than originally estimated.  It looks like another month of no running and a couple more weeks of no swimming.  AND at least another week in the post op shoe (which is really fun in the snow by the way!).
So hot.  Let's face it, when I wear this men want me and women want to be me.
Another month of no running.  Looks like mommy just lost her security blanket too and now I am trying not to have a meltdown of Biblical proportions.  But I am not 2, and I am not allowed to throw a fit...even though I kinda want to.  I can still do the stationary bike and weights.  That will just have to do for now.  You know what they say, when life hands you lemons you make lemonade... and when life hands you a post op shoe you strut your stuff in that butt ugly thing.

The current hope in the Schmidt house is that Emmy gets blankie back and mom doesn't loose her mind!  Fingers crossed!!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Worst. Diet. Ever.

A few posts back I might have alluded to the fact that I have been wearing a lot of spandex pants because my regular pants weren't fitting.  I unfortunately wasn't making a joke, I really am having a hard time squeezing my butt into my regular pants.  It isn't like I've gained 30 pounds, but when you're 5'4" there is no place to hide an extra 5...okay, 7 pounds.

I'll admit it, I have been avoiding things with zippers for awhile and getting away with it because I am a stay at home mom and fortunately (or unfortunately) I don't have a dress code.  This was all fine and good until Thursday....Thanksgiving.  I guess I could have sported my spandex, but thought it would be a tad inappropriate.

 I finally went up to change into "real clothes" and told my husband I would be down in a few minutes.  After 10 minutes passed he came up and said, "Uh, what's going on here?"  Clothes were strewn about, I was visibly upset, and clearly not wearing any pants.  Upon surveying the scene, I think he was slightly concerned that he would show up late with a half dressed wife.  I replied that I was "trying to fit my fat butt into some pants."  He did what every smart husband does...he ran away.

I spent the next five minutes trying to find the least offensive option and arrange that option in the least offensive way.  What was worse, a camel toe or a muffin top?? ( In case you're wondering, a camel toe is always worse.)  I finally settled on something and sulked my way to Thanksgiving dinner.  My husband, bless his heart, tried to cheer me up but it was to no avail.  I found myself wishing I could drop a few pounds quickly so I could fit back into something that was made of a non-stretch material.

You know what they say, be careful what you wish for.

My wish did come true.  I dropped some pounds, and quickly at that.  Unfortunately, it was because I was infected with the dreaded stomach flu.  Words cannot express how much I hate the stomach flu.  When introduced to this nasty virus my stomach's motto is always "go big or go home."  I guess you can call me an upchuck overachiever.  I become violently ill and I have often begged my husband to show some mercy and kill me already.  He never does, which I suppose is a good thing, but at the time it just seems cruel.
This was my Black Friday shopping bag.
 A day of not eating (and involuntarily getting rid of everything you ate) and a day of eating saltines and vegetable broth will really get the scale moving....but so not worth it...So. Not. Worth it.  I will always choose a muffin top over a night with my head in the toilet bowl.

I am finally feeling human again and I am desperately behind in everything.  This week will be full of catching up and getting back into the gym.  That flu weight has a way of returning quickly and I really do want to zip up my pants!  This is also (hopefully) my last week in the heinous post-op shoe.  I get x-rayed at the end of the week and if all is well I will be cleared to bike (oops already doing that) and swim.  I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I see the light!!

A final inquiry: how many HBBC points do you think I can get for my night of puking?  By my calculations I have about 6 straight hours of a very intense core workout.  What do you think, does it count? 

Hope everyone had a much better Thanksgiving weekend!!   

Any good stories from the Holiday?

Anyone brave the stores this weekend??

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

4500 calories, a turkey idea, and what Ratatouille and Survivor have in common

Break out the maternity pants, it's Thanksgiving!!
 The average Thanksgiving dinner is 4500 calories.  If that doesn't scare you then you have no idea what calories are or how many you should be eating in a day.  4500 calories is roughly three times the amount of food you should have in a day....packed into one meal.

An average person (I believe it is actually based on a 150 pound person) burns 100 calories per mile.  So if you are going out for the annual Turkey Trot, you are only burning about 310 calories (give or take a few).  If you wanted to burn all the calories in the average Thanksgiving dinner you would need to run 45 miles.  I don't know of any annual 45 mile Turkey Trots, do you?

So, what's a person to do??  Do we boycott Thanksgiving?  Do we serve steamed veggies, brown rice, and grilled chicken breast, with fruit for "dessert?"  Do we suck down a turkey flavored protein shake and call it a day?  No way!  It is Thanksgiving and part of this holiday is gathering around good food.  I think, and disagree with me if you want to, overindulging occasionally is fine.  But when I say overindulging I do not mean by 1000's of calories, I am talking about 100's.  So this takes me back to my original question: what's a person to do??

I think the best thing you can do is go into Thanksgiving informed and make a game plan based on that information.  I saw this on my AOL ticker this morning and thought it was pretty great.  It shows you the what a serving size looks like and how many calories are in each.

It is my opinion that when you know better you do better...oh wait that's Oprah's opinion, but I still agree with it.  It is my untrained, non-credentialed advice to take a look at the calorie counts of your favorite foods and just count them up before Thanksgiving.  Knowing how many calories you are planning on consuming can help keep your plate in check!  Here is an example of a typical, but well portioned Thanksgiving meal:

1 cup of salad (with dressing)- 125 calories
3 oz. of turkey (white meat)-135 calories
1/4 cup of gravy- 50 calories
1/2 cup mashed potatoes- 145 calories
1/2 cup of stuffing- 180 calories
1 roll- 180 calories
Butter for the roll- 35 calories
1/4 cup cranberry sauce-105 calories
Pumpkin Pie with no whip cream- 323 calories
Total Calorie Count-1278 calories

So even a well portioned meal (which, let's be honest, we don't always dish out a well portioned serving) is still way over the amount of calories we should consume in one sitting.  Oh, and I didn't even include everything that tends to find its way to the Thanksgiving feast (like yams with marshmallows, jello molds, green bean casserole, giblets(?), and sugary drinks).  

Here are some strategies to help keep the calories down:
  •  Be picky.  Pick your favorites and leave the rest.  I don't love cranberry sauce.  I don't hate it, and I will eat it, but it isn't my favorite thing.  But for some reason every year I put it on my plate and eat it.  Now that I know a quarter cup of the stuff is over 100 calories, I won't be choosing that this year.  I will save those calories for my favorite- mashed potatoes sans gravy!
  • Cut all your portions in half.  Maybe you don't want to be picky.  Maybe everything looks great and there isn't a thing you want to leave behind.  Half or quarter your portions and you can still enjoy all your favorites.
  • Pass the salad!  Fill half your plate with salad or other vegetables and eat those first.  If you fill up on lower calorie fare then you won't have as much room for the calorie rich foods.
  • Pass on the toppings.  Gravy, butter, heavy dressings, and whip cream can make your calorie count sky rocket.  If you are going to use them, use them sparingly.
  • Keep your other meals light, but not too light.  Don't go into the meal starving because that is a recipe for overeating.  But maybe choose lower calorie options for the other meals you will be eating that day.  
  • Screw it!  I'm eating!!  And now the strategy most people will take, the screw it option!  Forget all my advice and eat way too much.  Buttoning your pants is overrated anyway.
Okay, I am not trying to be the holiday buzz kill.  I just think with knowledge comes power (Oprah probably said that too) and simply knowing how many calories we are consuming can make us think twice about what we are shoving in our pie hole. 

I will leave you all with two random things:
1.  Here is a great idea for all of you cooking a turkey. 
2.  This is for the Survivor fans.  I was watching Ratatouille this morning with my kids and realized that if you put glasses on the chef :
he looks an awful lot like this guy:
Cochran in all his nerdy glory.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!!  And of course happy (responsible) eating!!  Good luck to everyone who will be racing on Thanksgiving.  Also, good luck to everyone who will be cooking for mass quantities of people (I'm talking about you Marcia!!). 

What is your favorite holiday health tip?

What are you going to splurge on this Thursday?

Who is Turkey Trotting or Gobble Wobbling?

Monday, November 21, 2011


Thing that happened to my computer:

Things that caused that to happen to my computer:

Thing that came in the mail today:

Things that won't be allowed around my new computer:

Thing my daughter will probably be wearing when she is finally potty trained:

Things I have promised my daughter if she will poop on the potty:
Cars 2
A whole fleet of princess dresses
A pony

 Things at the gym I just started using (I like to refer to them as the "spread eagle twins"):
This one is for the saddle bags
This one is for the crotch biscuits
Thing you need to read if you have no idea what a crotch biscuit is:
Thing my daughter insisted on wearing to school the other day:
Thing that I get out of cooking every year because a) I am a vegetarian and b) I am a horrible cook:
For some reason nobody wants a Tofurkey dinner.
Thing I am in charge of cooking for Thanksgiving dinner:
Things I got to do at preschool last week:
Emerson's Thanksgiving Feast
Mason's Thanksgiving Feast
Thing you should not accidentally sit on because you will break it and that will make you feel pretty fat:
I guess I know what to put on my Christmas list because I don't think I can go back to actual books.
Thing I am ridiculously proud of:
My son just started reading today!  Honest to goodness, sounding out words, and comprehending the words he sounded out.  This is one of the most magically moments that I have experienced as a parent.  There have been great moments and milestones, but there is something about watching the wheels turn and seeing him figure out how to read that has been amazingly awesome to me.  Okay, I am done having my self indulgent parenting moment.
What things do you have going on?

Best parenting moment (furry parenting moments also allowed)?

Where will you be for Thanksgiving (we are staying home)?